We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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