we're blogging at a bar
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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