No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
