so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
