we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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