After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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