that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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