At least make sure they are 18
Why
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
