I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
