one might say we're banned from that church
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
