That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Say something about gay babies.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
