Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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