i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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