This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
