PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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