And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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