Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
