Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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