halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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