It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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