i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
