Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize