so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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