i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
