Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize