ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
