i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize