Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
