Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He? As in you personified your dick?
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