i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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