whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
