Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
