i think i have herpe
just one?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
