Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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