we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
