I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
