those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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