She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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