The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
