i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize