so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
