i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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