she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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