This is not my ceiling
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
