why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
