1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
