i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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