oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
