We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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