marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
