I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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