I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My feet surprised me
Randomize
