Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize