After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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