Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
