I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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