Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Those nachos came to me in a dream
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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