I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize