What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
