she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
