You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
