I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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