It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
