Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
