whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
