I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
it hurts more in the daytime
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
