that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
